September 22nd 2024.
Dear reader,
Weddings are such special occasions, filled with love and happiness. But they can also be quite overwhelming and stressful. Whether you are the bride or groom, a part of the bridal party, or just a friend of the couple, the lead up to the big day can be filled with many dilemmas.
That's where Alison Rios McCrone comes in. As a wedding planner and venue owner with 10 years of experience, she is here to help solve any wedding-related problems in her weekly agony aunt column. So, if you find yourself in a tricky situation, don't hesitate to reach out to Alison for some expert advice.
One reader, Maria, recently wrote in with a dilemma. She admits to being a "bad friend" as she pursued a romantic encounter with her friend's brother-in-law at the wedding, despite being told he was off-limits. Now, her friend is understandably upset and Maria wants to make things right.
Maria, it's true that weddings can be a perfect storm for impulsive decisions. With free drinks and a romantic atmosphere, it can be easy to get carried away in the moment. However, it's important to understand that your friend confided in you before the wedding and explicitly stated that her brother-in-law was off-limits. From her perspective, your actions were a sign of disrespect and betrayal.
It may seem unfair that her brother-in-law is not facing the same level of scrutiny, but it's important to remember that friendships are built on trust and respect. Your friend trusted you to respect her boundaries and you crossed them on the most important day of her life. Put yourself in her shoes, Maria, and imagine how you would feel if someone went against your wishes on your wedding day.
It's also worth considering that your friend may not have communicated the same boundaries to her brother-in-law. Therefore, his actions may not have affected her in the same way. But as her friend, your actions may have felt more personal and hurtful to her.
The first step in making things right is to give your friend a heartfelt apology. Acknowledge her feelings and try to understand the situation from her perspective. Listen to her and why it was such a big deal for her. It's possible that she may view sex differently than you do, and it's important to respect that.
Let her know that you regret your actions and did not intend to hurt her. Explain that you got caught up in the moment and didn't consider the impact it would have on your friendship. Reassure her that your friendship is important to you and that you are committed to rebuilding the trust between you.
It may take some time for your friend to forgive you, and that's okay. Show her that you are willing to give her the space and time she needs to heal. And remember, people are adults who make their own decisions. You may have made a mistake, but it's how you handle it and make amends that truly matters.
We hope everything works out for you, Maria. And to our readers, if you have a wedding-related dilemma, don't hesitate to reach out to Alison for some expert advice. Share your thoughts and stories in the comments below – we would love to hear from you.
Best wishes,
Alison
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