August 16th 2024.
When you're single, it can sometimes feel like you're missing out on new experiences. That was my initial thought as I gazed up at my lover, watching the pleasure spread across his face as I touched him. We were at a private member's club, surrounded by people engaging in sexual activities. Their moans created the perfect backdrop for our own naughty playtime.
My hands roamed freely over his body as he unzipped his jeans, ready to take things to the next level. But just as things were heating up, I caught a glimpse of someone familiar in my peripheral vision. It was my friend, Delia*, whom I had invited as my plus one to this sex club. Caught in the midst of foreplay, I froze, knowing that she had just walked in on me with my pants down.
It was definitely one of the most embarrassing moments of my sexual history. But as mortifying as it was in the moment, I've come to realize that these kinds of things can happen when you visit a sex club. You never know what might occur, especially when you go with a friend – a situation that I have found myself in many times since.
Now, I can imagine some of you shaking your heads as you read this, the thought of seeing your friend in the throes of passion making you feel queasy. It's a reaction I've encountered before when people find out that I've brought my friends along to these events. I get it, it may seem bizarre, but hear me out – being single can often hold people back from trying new things.
The first time I went to a sex club, I was terrified. I had no idea what to expect and I was worried that people would judge me for coming alone without a partner. But what I discovered was that not only is it completely normal to attend these events when you're single, but it's also not strange at all to bring a friend along for company.
In fact, it can be a great way to have a good time, unwind, and catch up with a friend over a drink afterwards. A few years back, I had planned to attend a sensual dinner event, but I didn't have a long-term partner at the time. Despite being a confident woman, the thought of being stuck alone at a table with a group of naked swingers was intimidating. So, I invited my male friend, Benny*, to join me.
He happily accepted my invitation, and I wasn't surprised by his reaction. Benny is an open-minded and confident guy with a six-pack to boot, so he was excited at the prospect of getting laid – with someone other than me, that is. That evening turned out to be eye-opening, with various exercises designed to loosen up the group, including a nude paint show and a lesson in shibari, a form of intricate bondage.
While I had some great conversations and a steamy moment with a man in a hot tub, Benny also had a good time. I found him naked and tangled up with a gorgeous woman against a wall in the stairwell. As I said before, it's not weird to go alone or bring a friend along for company.
Most of the night went by without a hitch, but there was one moment when I started to feel a bit uncomfortable being surrounded by so many couples. It's true that being single at a sex club can sometimes make you feel left out, but having Benny there, even if he was in a different room having sex, made me feel better. I didn't want to interrupt his fun, so I just hung around until he finished and then suggested we leave.
It's important to remember that sex events aren't just about sex. They can be whatever you want them to be, especially if you're with a friend. On another occasion, my friend and I spent the majority of the night chatting on a sofa while sipping wine, while people were busy getting it on in the background.
I've been to various exciting events and had some eye-opening experiences, like my week-long trip to a popular swingers' resort in the Caribbean with a friend. Sure, there was some sex involved – including a steamy night in a pool grotto – but we also spent a lot of time hanging out on the beach, enjoying the buffet, and doing naked karaoke for laughs.
Just to be clear, I don't bring my friends with me to have sex with them. I'm not saying that's not an option, but personally, I prefer to keep those boundaries in place. My point is that being single doesn't mean you can't have just as much fun as couples do. And if the idea of going alone is intimidating, I've found that having a little help from my friends – as the song goes – can make all the difference.
So, go, have a good time, have sex if you want, or don't – it's up to you. And then, head home for a good debrief over drinks. Trust me, even if nothing else, you'll have some hilarious memories to look back on in the future.
*Names have been changed.
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I can imagine some of you are shaking your heads as you read this, with the idea of seeing your friend in the throes of passion making you feel queasy. People's eyebrows usually shoot up when they find out that I've taken mine along to many events. I understand why you might find this bizarre but hear me out: Being single can often hold people back from trying new things.
The first time I went to a sex club, I was terrified. I had no idea what I might see and I worried that people would think I was strange for coming along to such an event without a lover in tow. What I discovered was that not only is it completely normal to do this when you're single, but it's not actually that weird bringing a friend along as company, either.
You can have a great time and unwind and gossip with a drink after. A few years ago, I was planning to attend a sensual dinner. At the time, I had no long-term partner. While I am a confident woman, the idea of being stuck, alone, making small talk at a table with a bunch of naked swingers was fairly intimidating. But I didn't want my relationship status to stand in the way of my experience. So, I roped in a male friend – Benny* – to come along. He happily accepted and I wasn't particularly surprised by his reaction to my invitation, as Benny is an open-minded, confident guy with a six-pack to boot. He was just excited at the prospect of getting laid – with someone that wasn't me, may I add.
It was an eye-opening evening with several exercises designed to loosen the group up, including a nude paint show and a lesson in shibari, a Japanese form of intricate bondage. I had some great conversations and a saucy moment with a man in a hot tub. Benny had a good time, too – I found him naked and tangled up with a gorgeous woman against a wall in the stairwell.
It's not weird to go alone, or bring a friend along for company. Most of the evening went by without a fuss, but there was one point when I started to feel a bit uncomfortable by the many couples around me. While they were all happy to shag, many of them latched on to their partner towards the end of the night. One of the downsides of being single at a sex club is that you might occasionally feel left out. But knowing that Benny was there – even if he was having sex with someone in a different room – helped. In this instance, I didn't want to stand in the way of his fun, so I just hung about while he finished and then suggested we leave.
It's good to remember that sex events aren't just about sex. They can be whatever you want, especially if you're with a pal. On another occasion, one friend and I spent the majority of the evening chatting on a sofa while drinking wine as people romped in the background. I've been to several exciting events and eye-opening experiences. Another time, I spent the night dancing away to a live band, completely ignoring the couples feeling each other up on the stands behind me. They had their fun, my mate and I had ours.
Similarly, I once took a friend along for a week-long trip to a popular swingers' resort in the Caribbean. Sure, there was some sex – including a raunchy night in a pool grotto – but we actually spent most of the time hanging out on the beach, enjoying the buffet, doing karaoke in the buff and just having a laugh. For anyone wondering, I don't bring my friends with me to have sex with them. I'm not saying you can't do that if you want but as for myself, sleeping with a mate would open a can of worms that I decided to close long ago.
My point in all of this is that being single doesn't mean you can't have just as much fun as couples do. But if the idea of doing it alone is intimidating, I get by with a little help from my friends – as the song goes. And you could, too. Go, laugh, have sex if you want – or don't – and then head home for a debrief over drinks. If
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