I enjoyed sex with my partner until I realized he was disengaged.

I can almost hear him wondering when she'll be done.

July 12th 2024.

I enjoyed sex with my partner until I realized he was disengaged.
It's a common misconception that a woman's orgasm can be put on a schedule. As I lay there with my lover's head between my legs, I couldn't help but feel disappointed knowing that our fun would soon come to an end. For the past 10 minutes, he had been trying his best to bring me to climax. He was eager and determined, wanting to fulfill his duty as my sexual partner. But like many men before him, he lacked patience and was starting to tire and lose interest. Despite giving him oral sex for 30 minutes and my jaw muscles beginning to cramp, I kept going with enthusiasm.

I could see the tell-tale signs of his impending defeat – furrowed brow and intense focus on my face, eagerly waiting for his "reward". I know he had good intentions, but I could practically hear him thinking, "When is she going to finish?" Just as I felt the familiar tingling sensation building in my body, he lifted his head and suggested we take a break. In other words, he was "clocking off" for the day. This phrase refers to a male lover who may care about the task at hand, but will give up early – whether it's because he feels like he's done his best or lacks the skills to bring it to an end. And unfortunately, that leaves you to take care of the task yourself, as I did in the example above.

I believe that our male counterparts tend to give up too soon. There are two types of men in this situation – those in Camp A who are selfish and only care about their own pleasure, and those in Camp B who genuinely want their partner to enjoy themselves but get frustrated or lazy and give up before she can orgasm. I spoke to several men about this and got some interesting responses. Some admitted to giving up on their partner's pleasure in the past, while others said they never struggled to finish the job. But from my experience, women tend to overcompensate, fake orgasms, or avoid telling their partner how they truly feel.

The orgasm gap is a real problem that is influenced by various factors such as lack of sex education and biological differences. But I have another theory to add – men tend to give up too soon. We need to be more honest and open about our needs and desires during sex. Men, please stop trying to hit some invisible deadline. A woman's orgasm cannot be rushed or put on a schedule. It will come when it comes, and if we sense that you're "waiting" for it, it will only make it harder for us to reach climax.

Pay attention to our physical cues and don't be afraid to ask us what we want. Consulting your partner about their needs doesn't make you a bad lover – it shows that you care. And while we understand that you can't keep going for hours, please make every effort to not "clock off" until we're both satisfied. It's important to mention that not all women can orgasm, but if that's the case, ask her what she enjoys and make sure to make sex as pleasurable as possible for her.

Women also have a responsibility to themselves and their lovers. It can be uncomfortable and awkward to speak up during sex, but your orgasm is just as important as his. Be brave and communicate what makes your body tick. And if your partner still isn't willing to make the same effort, it may be time to walk away. "Clocking off" early is rude and you deserve better.

I was reminded of a particular sexual experience from a few years ago when I stumbled upon a new study showing the "orgasm gap" is still prevalent. Men reportedly climax 30% more during sex compared to women, and while it's disappointing, I'm not surprised. But the key to closing this gap lies in honesty and communication. So, men, please don't give up too soon, and women, speak up for your pleasure. Let's work together to bridge the "orgasm gap".

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