November 30th 2024.
Natalie Collins bravely came forward with her own allegation against her former partner, Aaron Swan. However, after a lengthy trial, he was ultimately found not guilty. Natalie, like many other women, has noticed a stark difference in the stories men tell about redemption compared to those of women.
She explains, “For men, it’s often about bad men becoming good men. But for women, it’s about the way we take care of and support each other after men have caused us harm.” Natalie speaks from personal experience, having sat through weeks in court supporting three other women who had been manipulated and abused by Aaron Swan.
Natalie had also made her own allegation against him nearly two decades prior, but was devastated when the jury believed his account over hers. She was left shattered when he was allowed to walk free. However, she picked up the pieces and rebuilt her life. Now, at the age of 40, Natalie has dedicated herself to helping others who have been subjected to domestic violence.
In 2020, she created the Own My Life course, which has since provided support to over 14,000 women. One of these women was unfortunate enough to have fallen under Swan’s possessive control. Together with another one of Swan’s victims and her own ex-husband’s new partner, they formed a strong sisterhood. This sisterhood ensured that Swan could no longer continue his campaign of rape and abuse, which had been ongoing for over 30 years.
Ultimately, Swan was found guilty of six charges and sentenced to six years in prison. He was also given an order for lifelong restriction, meaning he will never be released without supervision. Natalie reflects, “The most horrifying thing is that if the police had done their job in 2006, he wouldn’t have been able to rape so many other women. This is a man who has been raping girls since he was a teenager, and it took nearly 40 years for his dangerousness to be recognized.”
Natalie’s background was a working-class family with strong evangelical Christian beliefs. She recalls how this upbringing instilled certain ideas about relationships, including abstinence and only being with the opposite sex. This made her particularly vulnerable to Aaron Swan, who claimed to share her faith and quickly began “love bombing” her.
“He sucked me in,” Natalie remembers. “He would tell me all his deep, dark secrets, and then I would feel like I owed him all of mine. By the fifth day of knowing each other, he knew more about me than anyone else ever has. This can then be used and exploited later on.”
Within 12 days of meeting, Swan had manipulated Natalie into having sex. For her, as a devout Christian, the only solution was to marry him. “He knew the significance of crossing that line into sexual activity in my life,” she explains. “Abusers find a way to hook into you, making it nearly impossible to leave.”
Swan also refused to use contraception, resulting in Natalie becoming pregnant with their daughter within six months. They were then married soon after. However, the compliments and gifts that initially wooed Natalie soon turned into possessive and controlling behavior. Swan also frequently cheated on her.
Natalie explains, “There’s a common story where a man comes home from work with flowers for his wife. During dinner, he starts making advances and when she declines, he holds her down and rapes her. But when did he become abusive? It’s when he bought those flowers with the intention of manipulating her into sex.”
Looking back, Natalie realizes that Swan was likely manipulating the other women in the same way he had manipulated her. Despite several attempts to leave, he would always find a way to change her mind. In 2004, Natalie discovered that Swan was sexually abusing a 15-year-old girl. He was convicted and placed on the sex offenders register, which was the catalyst for Natalie to finally leave for good.
However, abusers can sense when their partner is pulling away, and they often escalate their behavior. In Natalie’s case, Swan violently raped her when she was pregnant with their second child. Their son was born three months premature, and they spent the next five months living in hospitals. It was during this time that Natalie finally left Swan for good and reported him for the rape. However, he was acquitted in 2006 after claiming it was consensual.
“He manipulated me,” Natalie says, looking back on the events. She has since dedicated her life to helping other women who have experienced domestic violence. She recognizes that many may feel alone and unsure of where to turn for help.
If you have been the victim of rape, whether recently or in the past, there is support available. If you are in immediate danger, call 999 for the police. Otherwise, the first step is to go somewhere safe. If you wish to report your rape to the police, call 999 or the non-emergency line on 101. You can also seek support from an Independent Sexual Violence Advocate, who can help you through the reporting process.
It is crucial to preserve any evidence, so try not to wash your clothes or shower. If you do change your clothes, keep the ones you were wearing in a plastic bag. If you do not wish to contact the police, you can speak to someone you trust or call one of the many rape and sexual assault helplines in the UK.
Natalie’s story serves as a reminder that it is never too late to seek support, even for historic cases. The police can still help, and there is no time limit for reporting. Natalie’s strength and resilience have inspired countless women to come forward and seek help.
In 2024, Metro launched the This Is Not Right campaign, which aims to address the epidemic of violence against women. Throughout the year, they will be sharing stories that shine a light on the severity of the issue. With the help of their partners at Women’s Aid, Metro hopes to engage and empower readers on this important topic. If you have a story to share, you can send an email to the team.
Natalie’s story serves as a stark reminder that we must continue to raise awareness and take action to end violence against women. It is time for all of us to come together and make a change.
Natalie Collins bravely came forward with her own story of abuse at the hands of her former partner, Aaron Swan. However, after a lengthy trial, he was ultimately found not guilty. Natalie believes that society is quick to forgive and redeem men, but women are not given the same opportunity. Instead, they are expected to find solace in the support and love of other women, despite the harm that men have caused them.
Natalie is not speaking from a place of generalization. In fact, last year she sat in court for weeks, standing by and supporting three other women who had also been manipulated and abused by Aaron Swan. She herself had made accusations against him nearly twenty years prior, but was left devastated when a jury chose to believe his story over hers, allowing him to walk free.
Despite her own painful experience, Natalie was determined to help others who had suffered from domestic violence. She started a course called Own My Life, in hopes of providing the same kind of therapeutic support that had helped her. Since its inception in 2020, over 14,000 women have found solace and support through this program. This includes another young woman who was unlucky enough to fall victim to Swan's possessive and abusive ways.
The two women, along with two other victims of Swan, formed a sisterhood that finally put an end to his campaign of rape and abuse that had spanned over 30 years. He was eventually found guilty of six charges and sentenced to six years in prison, with a lifelong restriction order attached, ensuring he would never be released without supervision.
Natalie reflects on the fact that if the police had done their job back in 2006, many other women may have been spared from Swan's violence. She believes that he had been committing these heinous acts since he was a teenager, and it took nearly forty years for the severity of his dangerousness to be recognized.
If you have been a victim of rape, there is help and support available. If you are in immediate danger, do not hesitate to call 999 for assistance. Otherwise, the first step is to find a safe place. If you choose to report the rape to the police, you can call 999 or the non-emergency line on 101. An Independent Sexual Violence Advocate may be available to assist you through the reporting process and you can withdraw from the criminal justice system at any time.
If you plan on reporting to the police, try not to wash your clothes or shower, as this may help preserve any DNA evidence left by the attacker. If you do change clothes, keep the ones you were wearing in a plastic bag. There are also helplines available for support, such as the 24/7 Support Line provided by Rape Crisis.
Natalie's upbringing in a working class and highly religious family left her vulnerable to the manipulative tactics of Aaron Swan. She recalls the pressure to adhere to traditional gender roles and remain abstinent until marriage. Swan took advantage of this and quickly started "love bombing" her, sharing his own secrets and expecting her to do the same. Within 12 days of meeting, he coerced her into having sex, and due to her faith, the only solution she saw was to marry him.
But this was just the beginning of a vicious cycle of possessive and controlling behavior, as well as infidelity on his part. Natalie tried to leave several times, but he always managed to convince her to stay. It wasn't until she discovered he was sexually abusing a 15-year-old girl that she finally mustered the courage to leave for good. However, abusers can sense when their partner is pulling away, and they often escalate their behavior. This was the case for Natalie, as Swan brutally raped her while she was pregnant with their second child.
In 2024, Metro launched the "This Is Not Right" campaign, which aims to shed light on the epidemic of violence against women. Throughout the year, they will share stories that bring attention to the severity of this issue. With the help of their partner, Women's Aid, they hope to empower and educate their readers on this topic. If you have a story to share, you can reach out to them via email.
Natalie's son was born prematurely and spent five months in the hospital, giving her the opportunity to finally leave Swan for good. She reported him for the rape, but he was once again able to manipulate the situation and walk free. Looking back, Natalie realizes how he had been manipulating other women as well, using the same tactics he used on her. Despite the challenges she faced, she remains an advocate and expert on male violence against women, determined to bring awareness and change to this pervasive issue.
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