August 24th 2024.
I was on my lunch break at work, making a quick coffee when I received a text message from John, the guy I had gone on a date with recently. I couldn't believe what I was reading. The message said, "I spent too much time and money on you. I want £300 back." My jaw dropped in shock. We had only been on three dates and the last time I saw him was less than a week ago when I had to run away from his house in fear for my life. And now, he was demanding money from me.
It was the early 2010s and I had just ended a long-term relationship. Feeling ready to get back into the dating scene, I joined a dating app in hopes of finding a nice guy. That's when I came across John's profile. He seemed genuine and I was immediately drawn to his handsome businessman persona. He owned his own house, had two cute little dogs, and drove a fast car. Even though he was almost a decade older than me, I couldn't resist giving him a chance.
We started texting and quickly bonded over our shared love for pets, the outdoors, and our mutual exhaustion with online dating. I got the impression that he was a true gentleman and was looking for something more serious than just a fling. So, when he asked me out on a date, I agreed without hesitation.
On our first date, he took me to a fancy restaurant in town. John ordered a steak while I opted for a salad and chips, being a vegetarian. He showered me with compliments and made me laugh throughout the night. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that we had similar interests in theatre, musicals, and even binge-watching Game of Thrones.
When the bill came, he insisted on paying for both of us. I offered to cover it next time, already knowing that I wanted to see him again. And just a week later, he took me for a ride in his sports car. He even surprised me with sandwiches and drinks, which I thought was incredibly romantic. I started to think that maybe, just maybe, I was falling for him.
During our dates, I opened up to him about my friends, family, and work. I told him about my simple but steady job as an office clerk and my passion for vintage pin-up modeling. He didn't mention anything about his own business or his past relationships, but I didn't think much of it at the time.
On our third date, he invited me to join him at his office party. But before that, he asked me to stop by his house for some drinks. When I arrived, he surprised me with a dress to wear to the party. It was a nice gesture, but it also made me feel a bit uneasy. I wasn't used to receiving gifts from someone I had just started dating.
The party turned out to be at one of his colleague's houses, which I found a bit strange. But I was excited to finally meet his work friends, who turned out to be lovely people. I was chatting with a few women when I realized that John had left me there and had gone outside to talk with his male coworkers. I wasn't upset, but it did make me question why he would leave his date alone.
As the evening came to an end, he asked me to stay over at his place. I agreed, thinking we had had a great time together. But the next morning, things took a turn for the worse. I received a text from my gay best friend asking me about my night. John saw the message and suddenly became angry, accusing me of texting another man while I was still in bed with him.
He started shouting at me and called me names like "shallow model with tacky tattoos" and even compared me to a sex worker. I tried to explain that my modeling was just a fun hobby and had nothing to do with sex work. But he wouldn't listen and I found myself feeling scared and shocked. This wasn't the same John that I had been falling for. I knew I had to get out of there.
I locked myself in the bathroom and called for an Uber, instructing the driver to wait for me for 10 minutes. When I didn't come out, he was to call the police. I was relieved when I managed to leave and go home safely.
After that night, I didn't hear from John for a few days until he messaged me demanding money. My best friend suggested going to the police, but I simply replied, "I never asked you to pay for me in the first place. And you were the one who called me a prostitute, so I guess we're even." Then I blocked him and luckily never heard from him again.
That experience eight years ago taught me to be more cautious when it comes to dating. I haven't been in a relationship since then, but I've learned to trust my gut and not settle for anyone who doesn't respect me. My advice to other women would be to always let your family and friends know where you're going and who you're going out with. And to the men out there who think a failed date gives them the right to demand money, grow up. And never, under any circumstances, resort to abuse.
Looking back, it was a good lesson for the future. And now, I'm excited to share my story with others through The Agency's "So, How Did It Go?" series. Whether it's cringeworthy or heartwarming, we all have our own unique dating experiences. And it's important to remember to always put your safety and well-being first.
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