Hannah felt responsible for Paul's death after she received an upsetting email from him.

Hannah Spearritt is still grieving the loss of her S Club 7 bandmate and ex-boyfriend, Paul Cattermole who passed away in April. At the time of his death, the 42-year-old singer was left in shock. She revealed that when news of his passing first broke, she feared that it was her fault, due to a deeply disturbing email she received from him in 2021.

She told The Sun on Sunday that she will never reveal the contents of the email out of respect for Cattermole's memory, but that it was clear that he was not well. Cattermole was due to reunite with the band for a comeback tour later this year, and Hannah was initially fearful that he had taken his own life.

“The things he said were of great concern. It was a lot. I started blaming myself. I had all these things going through my head — it was all blame, blame, blame. It was horrible,” she said.

Hannah also feared that Cattermole believed she would share the contents of the email, leading to her guilt and blame. However, it was later revealed that his death was caused by cardiac issues, but unfortunately that did not stop Hannah from pulling out of the reunion tour with her bandmates.

Hannah explained that she was extremely excited for the tour, but the death of her ex-boyfriend made her realize that life is short. She was also suffering from crippling panic attacks and vertigo, and was struggling to be there for her children.

“The more I started to think about what it was that I wanted, the more I realised that I just couldn’t go back. It was causing me a great deal of stress,” she added.

Hannah now feels that her S Club days were a long time ago, and that she has to make the decision that is right for her and her family. S Club will be touring as a five-piece on October 12, and they will be travelling to different cities across the US and Canada.

Hannah's story is a reminder to us all to take care of our mental health and to reach out for help if we need it. If you are ever in need of emotional support, you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email [email protected], visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to their website for more information. Alternatively, if you are a young person, or you are concerned about a young person, you can contact PAPYRUS Prevention of Young Suicide UK. Their HOPELINK digital support platform is open 24/7, or you can call 0800 068 4141, text 07860039967 or email: [email protected] between the hours of 9am and midnight.

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