For ten years, I was controlled by an expert catfish.

Karit's entire existence was affected by the deceit.

October 13th 2024.

For ten years, I was controlled by an expert catfish.
As we continue to explore the world of online scams, one particular type comes to mind - the romance scam. We often associate it with a vulnerable and lonely person who is easily fooled by a fraudster because they are desperately seeking love. However, Kirat Assi's experience with the longest catfish scam ever known proves that this stereotype is not always true.

Kirat, a lively, popular, and successful radio presenter from London, was introduced to Bobby - a handsome cardiologist - through Facebook in 2009. They were both part of the Sikh community and had a mutual acquaintance in Simran, Kirat's second cousin. Despite never meeting in person, Kirat fell in love with Bobby through their online conversations. Little did she know, she was falling for a person who didn't exist in the way he was being presented.

It wasn't until 2018, after almost a decade of talking to Bobby, that Kirat discovered the truth. And it wasn't a happy one. Simran, who had been supporting Kirat throughout her "relationship" with Bobby, was the real person behind the fake identity. Simran had used the photos of a real man and created multiple fake accounts to deceive Kirat. Even when Kirat had doubts about Bobby, Simran would manipulate the situation by involving Bobby's friends, family, and even his medical team.

This harrowing experience is now being told in the Netflix documentary, "Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare". And for Kirat, sharing her story is a way to change the narrative and bring awareness to the issue of catfishing. She knows all too well the emotional and psychological toll it takes on a person. And on top of that, she had to deal with an ongoing police case after initially being dismissed by authorities.

Kirat's life was turned upside down by this deceitful scam. She was so invested in her relationship with Bobby that she resigned from her job and her radio show, isolated herself from friends and family, and even stopped leaving the house without Bobby's permission. She was living in constant fear of upsetting him and walking on eggshells to avoid his anger. And even before the truth came out, the relationship was already toxic.

But it didn't start that way. At first, Kirat felt special and loved by her online boyfriend, who spent years learning everything about her through friendly conversations. But once she was committed, the manipulation and control began. Kirat emphasizes that this type of abuse can happen in online relationships as well, and it is important not to blame the victim.

Despite her suffering, Kirat knows that people often question how someone could fall for a catfish scam. But the complex deception and manipulation make it difficult to uncover. Even after seeing a post on Facebook about Bobby's supposed death, Kirat was kept in the dark by Simran and others who were part of the scam.

It wasn't until three years into their online "relationship" that Kirat found out Bobby was still alive. He had been in witness protection and was now divorced. As he reconnected with Kirat, he admitted his romantic feelings for her. And Kirat believed she felt the same way.

Looking back on her experience, Kirat knows that she was never truly in love with Bobby. But she also knows that she is not to blame for falling for his lies. She hopes that by sharing her story, she can prevent others from going through the same ordeal and change the way society views and treats victims of catfishing.
I'm sure we've all heard of the infamous 'romance scam' - it's the kind of story that brings to mind an image of a lonely victim, so desperate for love that they overlook the deceit of their fraudster. But Kirat Assi's experience with one of the longest catfish frauds ever recorded proves that this stereotype isn't always accurate. Despite being targeted and manipulated for years, Kirat was far from lonely or desperate.

In fact, Kirat was a vibrant, popular, and successful radio presenter from London. She had a wide circle of friends and was well-known in her community. It was in 2009 when she first started chatting with a man named Bobby on Facebook. Bobby was a handsome cardiologist and the two had a mutual connection in their shared Sikh community - Bobby knew Kirat's second cousin, Simran. It seemed like a match made in heaven, and Kirat soon found herself falling for Bobby.

But as their relationship developed solely online, Kirat began to realize that Bobby wasn't exactly who he claimed to be. In fact, he didn't exist in the way that he had been presented to her. It wasn't until 2018, a full eight years after they first started talking, that Kirat finally learned the truth about Bobby. And it wasn't pretty.

As it turns out, Simran - the same person who had been supporting Kirat through her relationship with Bobby - was actually Bobby all along. Simran had used the images of a real man and set up fake accounts to lure Kirat into a fake relationship. And when Kirat had doubts, she would turn to Bobby's friends, family, and even his medical team for reassurance. Little did she know, it was all part of Simran's elaborate plan.

Kirat's story is now being told in the Netflix documentary, Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare. It's a harrowing tale of deceit and manipulation, but for Kirat, it's also a way to change the narrative for future catfishing victims. She's never been able to escape this chapter of her life, and by sharing her story, she hopes to prevent others from experiencing the same pain.

Reflecting on this painful experience, Kirat knows that it will never truly go away. It's a constant presence in her life, both emotionally and legally. In fact, there is an ongoing police case after Kirat's initial report was dismissed. But she's determined to speak out and make sure that other victims are not treated the same way.

It's not easy for Kirat to relive this nightmare after already releasing a podcast on the subject. But for her, it's necessary in order to raise awareness and bring attention to the issue. Every aspect of her life was turned upside down by this fake relationship, even before she discovered the truth. It had become toxic and controlling, and Kirat was signed off from her job and resigned from her radio show due to the stress it caused.

Bobby didn't like Kirat interacting with listeners on her show, and she became isolated from her friends and family. She wasn't even allowed to leave the house without Bobby's permission. It was a constant cycle of manipulation and control, and Kirat felt like she was walking on eggshells all the time. Even something as simple as celebrating her birthday became a source of stress and manipulation.

But it didn't start out that way. At first, Kirat felt special and loved by her online boyfriend. He had spent years learning everything about her, and he used that information to manipulate her into falling in love with him. And once she was committed, it became a case of coercive control. This kind of manipulation can happen in online relationships, and it's important for people to understand that.

Unfortunately, victim-blaming is all too common in catfishing cases. People wonder how someone could have fallen for such a scam. But as Kirat points out, it's not always easy to spot the signs. She was always vigilant online, but the complex deceit made it difficult to uncover the truth.

Even after Bobby's supposed death, Kirat continued to stay in touch with his loved ones on Facebook. They would update her on his condition, but it wasn't until later that she found out he wasn't actually dead - he had gone into witness protection. And despite everything that had happened, Kirat found herself reconnecting with Bobby and even developing romantic feelings for him.

But in the end, the truth prevailed and Kirat was able to move on from this traumatic experience. She hopes that by sharing her story, she can prevent others from falling into the same trap. It's a painful chapter in her life, but she's determined to use it to help others.

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