July 30th 2023.
Sex parties are becoming increasingly popular amongst millennials and Gen Z. When my friend Sarah told me about her experience at one, I was immediately intrigued and couldn't help but to start researching options available in London. Killing Kittens seemed to be the most popular choice.
In order to attend, I had to sign up through the WeAreX app and agree to the numerous rules set by Killing Kittens. These rules outlined the importance of privacy and respect. I was also expected to dress formally and wear white, which proved to be a challenge as I didn't have anything particularly sex party friendly.
On the day of the Summer Ball, I was filled with a mixture of excitement and trepidation as I made my way to the North East London nightclub. Thankfully, the people I encountered were friendly and welcoming. It was a younger crowd, mostly couples in their 20s and 30s, and some were already kissing passionately in the small enclosed booths.
Dr Chris Haywood, a reader in critical masculinity studies at Newcastle University, has conducted research on sex clubs. He believes that what goes on is a bit more complicated than swinging, and women are in control.
My experience at the sex club was eye-opening. Despite my injured toe and not-so-sexy outfit, I still had a great time and found that people were more than willing to accept me. It was a unique and enjoyable experience, and I'm so glad that I got the chance to attend.
Sex parties are becoming more popular with a younger crowd, especially amongst millennials and Gen Z. It was my friend, Sarah, that served as inspiration for my own sexual exploration. During a lazy afternoon at her flat, she confessed she had a threesome with her husband and another woman at a sex party. Naturally, my interest was piqued and I couldn't help but ask her about it.
Sarah told me about the sumptuous setting in a discreet East London location and how everyone there was in their late twenties or early thirties. She laughed off my initial judgement that it was full of seedy old pervs, assuring me it was fun. I was keen to experience it for myself so I started researching the numerous offerings available in the capital. Killing Kittens was repeatedly suggested to me and I was lucky enough to attend their annual Summer Ball.
Before attending, I had to go through the relevant steps which included signing up to the WeAreX app and agreeing to the numerous strict rules that Killing Kittens requested everyone abided by. I also had to sign an agreement about privacy and respect. Every guest was required to use an alias too.
The rules also made it clear that this was a formal, classy affair and everyone was expected to dress appropriately or face being turned away at the door. The dress code was white, which was difficult for me as I didn't possess anything particularly sex-party friendly. Ultimately, I decided to go with an off-cream jumpsuit that I'd worn to job interviews. To make matters worse, I had to wear a thick white bandage on my toe as I had an enflamed tendon. I was grateful that we had to wear masks so at least my face was mostly disguised.
The location of the ball was revealed the day before and I made my way there with a sick feeling of nerves. I was in no way planning to have sex at the party - even my easy-going boyfriend wouldn't let me participate in group sex with a bunch of strangers - but I told myself I was there for research.
It was a younger crowd, mostly couples aged in their 20s and 30s, mingling and chatting. There were some who were already kissing passionately in the booths. The people I spoke to were friendly and one woman, aged 29, mentioned she went to sex parties to experiment with other girls. Another couple, in their thirties, said it helped spice up their sex life.
One man, wearing just a black thong, scolded me for apologising for not looking sexy. He said I had to will myself to make it sexy. I joked that it was 'bandage before bondage' and he walked away.
It's important to be aware of what goes on at sex clubs, so I spoke to Dr Chris Haywood who's a reader in critical masculinity studies at Newcastle University. He's done his own research into sex clubs and said that what goes on there is more complicated than swinging. He also believes that women are in control.
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