Find a tactful way to tell the best man their speech isn't great without seeming envious.

Dear Colin,
Thank you for writing in with your current dilemma. Weddings are a time for joy and celebration, and the speeches should be light-hearted and entertaining, showing friendship, respect, and humour. It is important to get the balance right and to make sure the speech won’t cause any upset or put a dampener on the big day.
I have heard hundreds and hundreds of speeches, and the most successful ones are short, share stories or anecdotes about the best man and his friendship with the groom, and a little humour, while being heartfelt and sincere. It’s also important to give compliments to the bride and groom and to stress how they bring out the best in one another.
It’s clear that you’re concerned about the best man’s speech, and you’re right to be. The best thing to do is to speak to the best man again and have an open conversation. It’s important to be clear that your concerns are genuine and that you’re not jealous that he has been given the main role.

Approach the conversation with sensitivity, and highlight your desire to make the day a wonderful experience for everyone. Explain that he needs to understand the importance of delivering a speech that shows true friendship and captures the couple’s love story.
Remind him of the significance of the occasion and emphasise that his speech will forever be part of the couple’s cherished memories, and that it’s more important to leave a positive impact on everyone attending the wedding. Offer to collaborate on the speech together and share some of your anecdotes or ideas that you think will resonate with the audience.

It’s important to tread carefully, as it takes a lot of time and practice to prepare a speech. And as much as he won’t have intended to offend anyone, it’s probably more down to the fact that he thinks those stories are funny and is personally entertained by them when really they will not draw the guests together.

If all else fails, and you believe the speech could ruin the wedding, consider involving a mutual friend or family member who can help mediate the situation. Approach this situation with empathy, patience, and a sincere desire to make the wedding day as wonderful as possible.

The ultimate goal is to create a memorable and harmonious celebration for the couple, their families, and guests, and your efforts to ensure a delightful and respectful atmosphere are admirable.

Good luck, and I hope the outcome is a speech that brings smiles and laughter to everyone for all the right reasons!

Best wishes,
Alison

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