Aristotle defined three kinds of friendship –
- “Deal friends” or the friendship of utility. These are based on what someone can do for you, or what you can do for another person. This could be the friendship between neighbors who rely on each other or colleagues who need to work together.
- “Fun friends” or the friendship of pleasure. These are based on enjoyment of a shared activity or the pursuit of fleeting pleasures and emotions. This could be the friendship within a pick-up basketball group or a dance class. Similar to deal friends, this type of relationship can end quickly as it is dependent as it is on people’s ever-changing likes and dislikes.
- Real friends or The friendship of virtue. These are the people we like for who they are, who typically influence us positively and push us to be better people. It is based on the character of two self-sufficient people.
It is natural to have deal friends and fun friends in our lives. They’re “easy come, easy go”. Real friendship, on the other hand, requires both strength of character and consistent investment – of time, energy, and often money.
But, of all our friendships, it is this group of real friends that have a long-term impact on our happiness.
Prioritize them, we must.
