December 6th 2024.
"Hey, wake up," I whispered, gently shaking his shoulder. My voice was soft, but urgent. I could feel my date, John, stirring beside me as I tried to rouse him from his slumber. But before I could fully wake him, a deep voice boomed from another room, shouting that breakfast was ready. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, trying to remember where I was.
As I looked up at the unfamiliar ceiling, it dawned on me that I was not in my own bed. Panic set in as I recalled the events of the previous night. John and I had gone to the local pub for a few drinks, and when he suggested we go back to his place, I couldn't resist his charming smile. But now, lying in his bed, I couldn't help but wonder who it was that had just offered us breakfast.
My mind raced as I tried to come up with a logical explanation. Maybe John had housemates or even a butler? But deep down, I knew there was only one plausible answer, and it terrified me. I whispered again, shaking John's shoulder a bit more urgently this time.
He opened his eyes, a lazy smile spreading across his face. I could tell he was still half asleep, probably thinking that I wanted to pick up where we left off the night before. And while the sex had been great, it was the last thing on my mind in that moment.
I couldn't help but blurt out, "Do you live with your parents?" The question hung awkwardly in the air, until John let out a nervous cough and a sheepish expression crossed his face. Without needing confirmation, I already knew the answer. The person who had offered us breakfast was his dad.
To make matters worse, John's bedroom was on the second floor, which meant there was a high chance of running into his parents when I left. The thought of sitting down for breakfast with his family, who had undoubtedly heard us loudly shagging the night before, made me want to crawl under a rock and never come back out.
I quickly threw on my clothes and demanded that John drive me home. As I made my way down the stairs, my heart was racing, fearing that I would run into his parents. But thankfully, I made it to the door without being seen.
Although this happened a long time ago, the memory still makes me cringe. But it's not the only time I've had a mortifying run-in with a lover's parents. It brings up the age-old dilemma: sex or no sex?
Some of you may find yourselves in a similar situation this holiday season when you bring your partner home for Christmas. Or maybe you're staying with your significant other's family, like I am. It's a tricky situation that many of us have faced before.
Personally, I don't feel comfortable having sex at a partner's family's house. Perhaps it's because I've heard so many horror stories, or maybe it's just a cultural thing. My Armenian parents never discussed sex at home, and I was always taught to be extremely polite when visiting someone else's house.
But I must admit, it has happened once or twice, like during a Christmas party at an ex's parents' house. We managed to sneak away for a few minutes of fun, but thankfully, no one spotted us. We also kept our clothes on, just in case we were called without warning.
But the shoe has also been on the other foot. I've walked in on a lover's parents shagging, and it was a very uncomfortable moment. Let these stories serve as a gentle warning.
I'm not saying that you can't have sex while staying at someone else's house for Christmas, but please, take some precautions. Firstly, be respectful, especially if your partner's parents have different beliefs than your own.
It's possible that they might expect you to sleep in separate beds, or maybe they're super relaxed and like to walk around in their underwear. Either way, have a conversation with your partner beforehand to avoid any surprises.
This year, I am spending Christmas with my boyfriend's family, and we've decided to take sex off the table completely. He's a little disappointed, but to me, the holidays are all about eating lots of food and socializing. Sex has never been a big part of my festive season.
I don't want to take the risk of getting caught or offending my boyfriend's parents, who I am still getting to know. But ultimately, the decision is yours. Just remember to be courteous.
And if you do decide to have sex, please clean up after yourself. And if there's a lock on the bedroom door, use it. No one wants to be caught in a compromising situation by their lover's parents. Let's avoid creating any uncomfortable memories this holiday season.
*Name has been changed.
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