September 27th 2024.
One of the things that really bothers me is when someone misleads me. It leaves me feeling frustrated and annoyed, like I've been taken for a ride. And it's even worse when it happens in a vulnerable moment, like when I'm naked in bed with someone.
That's exactly what happened to me with my lover, Frank. After spending 12 hours together, he casually drops the bomb that he's a dad. I couldn't believe it. How could he have neglected to mention something so important? I was so annoyed that I couldn't wait for him to leave my house.
Let me backtrack for a moment. Frank and I met on a dating app and decided to meet up for drinks. I was feeling hesitant about dating again after my recent breakup, but I also wanted to have some fun. And Frank seemed like the perfect match - confident, with a good beard, and an immediate sexual attraction.
During our date, we talked about our lives and careers, but he never mentioned anything about having kids. And let me make something clear, I have nothing against children. In fact, I'm a godmother and "Auntie Allie" to many nieces and nephews. But I do have a problem with people not being upfront about important things like being a parent.
This wasn't the first time I've been misled in my dating life. Another lover of mine, Alfie, forgot to mention that he was moving to another continent. We were just friends with benefits, so I wasn't expecting anything serious. But I still deserved his respect and honesty. Instead, he waited until the last minute to tell me, right before he had to leave for the airport.
And sadly, I've heard similar stories from other women. It always ends with the same sentiment, "I just wish they had been honest with me." And that's the lesson here - misleading someone is never okay. Whether it's a one-night-stand or a long-term relationship, honesty is always the best policy.
When it comes to sex, there are certain things that you need to disclose beforehand. If you have an STI or any other health condition that could affect your partner, you need to tell them. And if you're just looking for something casual, or you're in an open or polyamorous relationship, let the other person know. It's not fair to keep them in the dark.
I know it can be scary to be completely honest with someone, especially if you're afraid it will ruin your chances of having sex with them. But trust me, if someone doesn't want to be intimate with you because of your honesty, then they're not the right person for you. And it's always better to be upfront and potentially save someone from getting hurt.
So, let's all make a pact to be open and honest in our intimate relationships. Give the other person a chance to process the information and make their own decision. Because honesty is not only the best policy, but it's also incredibly sexy.
*Names have been changed to protect privacy. Do you have a story you want to share? Email
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