April 12th 2024.
Meet Sinéad*, a 42-year-old new mom who is six months postpartum after giving birth to her son Ollie*. She lives with her partner of four years, Chris*, and they share a home with Chris's eight-year-old daughter, May*. In this week's edition of "How I Do It," we get a glimpse into Sinéad's sex life as she navigates the challenges of parenthood and postpartum changes.
Sinéad and Chris had always been sexually active, but during her pregnancy, things changed. Her sex drive decreased and she experienced discomfort during intercourse. "As soon as I became pregnant, my nipples became extremely sensitive and I didn't want them being touched," Sinéad shares. As her pregnancy progressed, vaginal sex became uncomfortable and she suspected it may have been due to a yeast infection. This made her not want Chris to touch her in that area.
Although Chris was understanding and supportive, it was hard for Sinéad to constantly turn him down. As a result, their sexual connection suffered. "I didn't realize how much we struggled with the new dynamic until he voiced it to me," Sinéad admits. But after giving birth and recovering, their sexual connection gradually returned. "I don't think either of us realized how much we had missed it until our sexual connection came back," she says.
For Sinéad, sex is an important part of her sense of self and she's always been confident and positive about her body. However, after giving birth via emergency caesarean section, she noticed changes in her body like a "tummy shelf" and stretch marks. "At the moment, sex tends to be fast and frantic, but I would prefer more time to be slow and enjoy each other," she shares.
Now, let's take a look at how Sinéad's week went in terms of her sex life with Chris...
Monday
The day starts with Sinéad waking up to their seven-month-old son Ollie* wriggling next to her in bed. She feeds him while Chris snores. When Chris's alarm goes off, they have some precious snuggle time with just the three of them in bed. Sinéad feels a new sense of arousal, which is a welcome change after a long drought. However, it's a busy day and they have to focus on getting their kids ready for the day.
Chris offers to take both kids in the evening so Sinéad can go to the gym. She enjoys the alone time and the exercise helps her feel better about her postpartum body. "I'm finally starting to feel sexy again," she shares. While she is self-conscious about her physical changes, she is able to overcome these thoughts during sex. "My partner still makes me feel very desired," she says. Unfortunately, Ollie is teething and ends up sleeping in their bed, so there's no opportunity for sex tonight.
Tuesday
The night was a disaster with Ollie waking up every couple of hours, leaving both Sinéad and Chris exhausted in the morning. Sinéad is running late and doesn't even hear Chris get up. He surprises her with a coffee, but they don't have much time to chat before she has to leave for work. Sinéad is looking forward to some intimate time with Chris later in the day, as Ollie will be starting nursery. However, their schedules don't align and they only have a brief moment to snuggle on the sofa before bed, where Ollie ends up sleeping with them again.
Wednesday
Sinéad wakes up with a sore back from sleeping on the edge of the bed with Ollie in the middle. "Now that he's bigger, co-sleeping is getting uncomfortable," she shares. She misses the physical closeness she used to have with just her and Chris in bed together.
Meet Sinéad, a 42-year-old new mother who is navigating the ups and downs of postpartum life with her partner Chris and their son Ollie. In this week's edition of "How I Do It," we get an inside look at their sex life as they adjust to their new family dynamic.
Before becoming parents, Sinéad and Chris were no strangers to intimacy, often enjoying multiple rounds of sex in a day. However, Sinéad's pregnancy brought about changes in her body and sex drive, causing them to have sex less frequently. She explains, "My nipples became extremely sensitive and I didn't want them touched. As my pregnancy progressed, vaginal sex was uncomfortable. It was probably due to thrush, but it made me hesitant for Chris to go near that area."
While Chris was understanding and supportive, Sinéad couldn't help but feel guilty for turning him down. As time went on, their libidos seemed to match each other's, which worried them both. "We didn't realize how much we were struggling with the new dynamic until Chris voiced it to me," she shares. "It wasn't until our sexual connection returned that we realized how much we had missed it."
For Sinéad, sex is an essential part of her identity and she wishes for a more frequent sex life, even though they currently have sex twice a week. "The 'love' sex that I have with my partner is fulfilling," she says. "I've always been body confident and sex positive, and I try to maintain that mindset even though my body has changed a lot after giving birth via emergency c-section."
As a new week begins, Sinéad's day starts with her seven-month-old son Ollie waking her up. She breastfeeds him in bed while Chris sleeps, cherishing the precious alone time with just the three of them. But when Chris's alarm goes off, they have to get up and start their day. It's a new feeling for Sinéad to be turned on after a long dry spell, but their responsibilities as parents take precedence.
Later that evening, Chris takes both kids so Sinéad can go to the gym. She uses this time to focus on herself and her physical health, which in turn makes her feel more confident and sexy. "Even though I've put on weight and have visible stretch marks, my partner still makes me feel desired," she admits.
However, their plans for intimacy are derailed when Ollie's teething keeps him up all night. The next day, Sinéad is exhausted and they don't get much time to connect before she heads off to work. But she holds onto the hope of having some intimate time with Chris now that Ollie is starting nursery.
Despite their busy schedules, they manage to sneak in some alone time on the couch, sharing a glass of wine and watching TV. But their son's teething troubles continue, and Sinéad finds herself falling asleep cuddling Ollie instead of being intimate with Chris. She reflects, "Tonight, the physical and emotional satisfaction of holding my son is enough for me."
The following day, Sinéad wakes up with a sore back from sleeping on the edge of the bed with Ollie in the middle. As he grows bigger, co-sleeping becomes uncomfortable, and she misses the closeness she used to have with just Chris in bed. Despite the challenges, she remains positive and hopeful for their future together.
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