December 23rd 2024.
One Christmas, I was so exhausted and out of it that I completely forgot to put presents out for my loved ones. It's not something I'm proud of, but alcohol has always been a defining factor in my life – even from a young age. You see, my parents struggled with alcohol addiction, and during the festive season, things would escalate to a whole new level. Like many children in similar situations, I was constantly living in fear of the chaos that would ensue. It was a nightmare – filled with abuse, violence, and complete unpredictability.
I hated alcohol. I hated everything about it – the smell, the way it made people act, and the way it affected my life. I promised myself that I would never end up like my parents. But unfortunately, addiction had other plans for me. It took over my life – robbing me of my ambitions and self-worth.
It all started at my 18th birthday party. I was feeling awkward and out of place, but someone handed me a vodka and cola. Suddenly, I felt like I was a real grown-up. Drinking alcohol was always seen as a rite of passage, and I was now officially part of the club. From that first sip, I was hooked. It took away all my fears and insecurities, and I felt like a social butterfly.
That was the beginning of my "drinking career." For 17 years, I chased that feeling while falling into toxic and abusive relationships. I was running away from my past and numbing any emotions with alcohol. But as the years went by, my drinking became a major problem. It took away everything from me – my goals, my relationships, and my sense of self-worth.
I remember one particular incident where I had been drinking all night and then had to go to work as a hairdresser the next day. I was hungover and shaky, trying to cut someone's hair. It was a disaster. I wasn't emotionally available for anyone, especially my children. I would often wake up not knowing where I was or losing important things like my keys or phone. My love was alcohol, and it prevented me from getting close to anyone. The consequences were devastating.
Finally, at 35 years old, I reluctantly entered recovery. It was a difficult and painful journey, but I knew I had to do it for my children. They had seen too much and were starting to lose hope that I would ever get better. I had broken countless promises to them, and they were embarrassed to bring friends home because they never knew if I would be drunk.
My first Christmas in recovery was tense and anxious. But for the first time in a long time, my children had a real Christmas with presents and a sober mother. It was a miracle. However, my battle with alcohol was far from over. I continued to work hard on my sobriety and did some incredible things in the next 15 years.
I became an advocate for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorder, a cause close to my heart as one of my children was born with it due to my drinking during pregnancy. I also spoke at domestic abuse refuges, prisons, and hospitals, sharing my story and connecting with others who had been affected by alcohol. I was determined to use my experiences to make a positive impact.
But even with all of this progress, my alcoholism was never fully cured. I still faced temptations and triggers every day, especially during the holiday season when alcohol is everywhere. In 2018, my parents passed away within weeks of each other, and I found myself in a deep pit of grief and despair. That May, I saw an advertisement for pink gin that portrayed a glamorous and carefree lifestyle. I went to bed thinking about it and woke up the next day still thinking about it. I convinced myself that I could just have one night of drinking and then go back to recovery. But within minutes, I was at the store buying alcohol. And just like that, I had relapsed.
For almost a year, I fell back into the grip of addiction and lost everything – my home, my children, my job, and my respect. I even ended up in the hospital on life support after trying to end my life. It was a wake-up call. I realized that I had a choice – I could either continue down this destructive path and lose my life, or I could choose recovery and fight for a better future.
I chose the path of recovery, and it has been a difficult but rewarding journey. I have faced guilt and shame, but I also feel angry now. Alcohol is an addiction, just like smoking, yet we are bombarded with advertisements and celebrity endorsements for alcohol without ever seeing the negative effects. It's especially challenging during Christmas when alcohol is constantly in our faces. It's time for us to change our attitude towards alcohol and recognize it for what it is – a highly addictive and toxic substance that can destroy lives.
This year, I had the opportunity to speak at the Houses of Parliament about the urgent need for action on alcohol. I want people to understand the dangers of alcohol and how it can affect those struggling with addiction or in recovery. Small changes can make a huge difference. So this Christmas, I urge everyone to think about those of us battling alcohol dependency and make an effort to create a more supportive and understanding environment.
[This article has been trending online recently and has been generated with AI. Your feed is customized.]
[Generative AI is experimental.]
