April 12th 2024.
As I sat down to check my emails, I couldn't resist clicking onto Tinder to see how my conversations with potential dating partners were going. There was one reply in particular that I was eagerly anticipating. But much to my surprise, I couldn't seem to log into my account. Every time I hit refresh, an error message would appear. I tried re-entering my email and phone number, only to be met with another message informing me that my account had been blocked. I was puzzled. How could that be? I hadn't done anything wrong, or at least, not to my knowledge.
As I racked my brain trying to figure out the reason for my account being blocked, I remembered the last conversation I had on the app. It all started to make sense. You see, I had recently gone through a break-up and with the constant lockdowns in my area, it was hard to meet new people in person. So, against my better judgment, I had signed up for a few dating apps to get myself back out there. I wasn't necessarily ready to find the love of my life, but I thought it couldn't hurt to have some casual conversations with new people.
Tinder, in particular, had a reputation amongst my friends for being more of a hookup app. But being new to the dating scene again, I was just happy to talk to some new people and see where it went. I had been on the app for a couple of months when I received a message from a guy named Dean. We exchanged pleasantries, and while there weren't any sparks flying yet, I figured our conversation was just getting started. However, after a couple of days, things took a turn for the weird.
Dean asked me a very strange question, one that I wasn't prepared for. The picture on my profile showed me wearing heels, and he wanted to know if I would stand on him with them. I was taken aback. As a woman on the internet, I've received my fair share of sexual propositions, but this was something new. I joked that it would probably kill him, not expecting the conversation to go any further. But to my surprise, he seemed eager and even offered to pay me for it.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I played along, asking how much he was willing to pay for such an unusual request. Let me be clear, I had no intention of actually going through with it. I was just curious to see how far he would take it. But before I could get an answer, I was suddenly unable to log into my account. Was this the reason for my ban? I can't be sure, as the customer service team was less than helpful, simply telling me that I had violated the terms of use and community guidelines.
It was frustrating to think that I had been banned for something I didn't even initiate, but merely entertained. I even reached out to Dean on another dating app to ask if he had reported me. He denied it and even expressed disappointment that our conversation had disappeared. His account was still active, while mine was blocked. We never spoke again, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of injustice.
The whole encounter left me feeling frustrated and confused. Women are bombarded with sexual messages on dating apps, yet when I showed interest in just one of them, I was punished. It's a double standard that men can send explicit messages and get away with it, but when a woman is seen to be trying to profit from it, she is the one who suffers the consequences. Needless to say, my Tinder days are over, and my potential career as a dominatrix was short-lived.
While I can laugh about the experience now, it's disheartening to think that this is a common occurrence for women on dating apps. I'm still using other apps, cautiously swiping and meeting new people, none of whom have asked me to perform any sexual acts for money. But it's safe to say that my days on Tinder are over. And as for my budding relationship with Dean? Well, let's just say it was never meant to be.
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