May 7th 2024.
It seems that the art of conversation over the phone is slowly disappearing. Gone are the days when we would pour our hearts out in handwritten letters to our loved ones. With the invention of the telephone, connecting with others became easier and more convenient. However, it appears that not only has the art of letter writing been lost, but also the art of conversation, especially among the younger generations like Gen Z and millennials.
A recent poll revealed that a quarter of people aged between 18 and 34 have never answered their phone. Instead, they prefer to ignore it and communicate through texts or social media. In fact, almost 70% of those surveyed admitted to texting instead of speaking on the phone. And out of those who do use their phones, 48% prefer to communicate through social media and 37% through voice notes.
This shift towards online communication has contributed to the 1.3 trillion online messages and 36 billion text messages that were exchanged in the UK between 2012 and 2022. The majority of people now prefer sending texts or voice notes, citing reasons such as feeling pressure to answer unexpected calls and assuming that it may bring bad news.
For many young people, the only way they will answer a phone call is if it has been scheduled in advance. Freya Mallard, a 26-year-old comedian from Haringey, explains, "I would never pick up a phone call unless I'm expecting it. I just couldn't be sure of what to expect unless we pre-arrange a time to speak on the phone, and my friends are the same. We just don't do spontaneous phone calls anymore."
Freya, who is currently expecting a baby, also confesses that she won't be calling anyone to announce the birth of her child. Instead, she plans to share the news on social media with a picture. She believes it's the best way to inform everyone at once without having to worry about who to call first and what to say.
This trend of ignoring phone calls is not limited to the younger generation. Even older generations have caught on, with only one in 10 people aged 35 to 54 admitting to ignoring calls, mainly due to fear of spam callers. And for those who do answer, it's usually because they want to find out who the caller is or because they are busy and don't want to be interrupted.
All of these factors have led to a decrease in the amount of time people spend on the phone, with the average person now spending only five and a half minutes on the phone per day. This is a stark contrast to the hours we used to spend chatting on landlines. While texting and voice notes may be quicker and more convenient, experts believe that phone calls are beneficial for maintaining and strengthening relationships.
Georgina Sturmer, of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy, explains, "When we use texts or voice notes, we are engaging in asynchronous communication, which is when we are communicating and responding in our own time, rather than as part of a live dialogue with the other person. This can add a layer of anxiety to our communication."
She goes on to say that answering a phone call sends a message that the other person is deserving of our time and attention. "When we pick up the phone to someone else, we are choosing to down tools and focus on our conversation. The written word carries a huge amount of power, but when we speak out loud, we are sharing more than just words. We are picking up on each other's intonation, cadence, and emotions."
While the younger generation may have a lot to learn about using the phone, they do have one habit that older generations would benefit from adopting. They have found a way to stay connected online while also "turning down the noise" by putting their phones on Do Not Disturb mode. This setting blocks all notifications from calls, texts, and social media, allowing them to have control over their time and reduce stress.
Georgina believes that this trend allows people of all ages to regain control in their lives, leading to improved emotional well-being. She says, "I'm a big advocate of having time away from our screens. It helps us to focus on what we need from our everyday lives and interactions, to feel more mindful and present."
So, while texting and social media may be the preferred mode of communication for many, it's important to remember the value of a good old-fashioned phone call. It not only strengthens our relationships but also allows us to truly connect with others.
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